Boys Rule

boys_toysAs long as I can remember, I have been fascinated with boys.  Not in the fashion you would imagine, though.

As the oldest daughter of 3 girls , I recall dad often being asked if he wished he had boys, or a boy.  Dad, would at time answer, saying that he loved us girls.    Other times, he would look at the person inquiring, and shrug them off or dismiss the question.  When my dad was asked if they were going to try for the boy, he would answer no.    The question, “do you wish you had a boy”, was however, asked quite often.  That  question always caused me to wonder, why were boys so special?

I feel I need to note that my dad did not ever demean the fact that he had daughters only.  I knew I was loved.

I did not  know, at that young age,  that in some cultures boys were valued more highly.  Nor did I understand the fact that a boy would carry on the family name.

I just surmised that boys must be special, in general.  I truly wondered what it would be like to be a boy.  I was fascinated by boys, men, especially my father, grandfathers, and uncles for that matter.  Their abilities, the way they carried themselves, their “matter-of-fact-ness”, their confidence, it all amazed me.  Those characteristics were not what I possessed.   I was timid, shy, and not so confident.

Boys also had cool toys.  I found this out when visiting my cousins.  Electric trains, erector sets, all kinds of toys I had never seen before.  I played with baby dolls, jump ropes, and jacks.

I determined, through my observations, that boys were ambitious, adventurous, and invincible.  They held all the cards…

In my mind…boys ruled.


Cup and Saucer Moments

teacupI found my perfect cup and saucer today at the thrift store.   I enjoy drinking my coffee or tea from a favorite cup and saucer.  Shopping off-retail in obscure shops, thrift stores, and even dumpster diving has its rewards–one finds the   most unique items.

I am not the  “matchy-matchy” type, where all the settings of dishware must be replicated for each place setting.   Eclectic is the  term that comes to mind, is commonly used these days to describe.  I enjoy drinking my coffee or  tea from a favorite cup and saucer.

I have been looking for a setting such as this for some time.   It was a find most unexpected, and most enjoyable, as it brought back  fond memories of childhood.  You see, this pleasure, this tradition, was started some 45+ years ago.

As a very young girl, of no more than 5, I remember sipping coffee or tea from my own green cup and saucer. My sisters and I each had our own cup and saucer setting.  They sat on a kitchen shelf, in our small, home located in a quaint Midwestern town, surrounded by cornfields, where the population was less than 100!

We drank tea and coffee from those cups daily, and yes, we were allowed to drink coffee at that age!  This was a morning habit.  We sat down for breakfast, and enjoyed our coffee with mom and dad, before he would leave for work every morning.  We would enjoy coffee or tea later, as the day progressed.  When we had company, we were served from those cups and saucers.  They were every day dishes with an elegant touch.

Those cup and saucer sets would be washed up by hand, and set back on the shelf, ready for the next day. They were very pretty sitting there, and remember knowingly looking at them, and watching mom pull them down for the occasion.

I did not know what they were actually made of, but they were indestructible.   They sometimes hit the floor, but never shattered.  Not nary a chip.  In those days, they made things to last.  Mom later mentioned that they were made by Wheatonware, they were sold at home parties, and they were indeed glass, but unbreakable.

They remain in mom’s curio cabinet as we speak, she enjoys looking at them, as they always remind her of the three of us  girls sitting at the bar, or the table in our home, in that very small town.

I have had many play tea sets over the years, as well as cups with saucers as a part of my place settings when my family began.   The Wheatonware green tea settings, will always be remembered most dearly.


Dad’s and Daughters

dads and daughters

Is a daughter’s relationship with her father important?

Studies of independent women have confirmed this powerful connection between our fathers, and the first men in our lives.

My father worked hard to take care of us as a family.  Fathers carry the weight of establishing and providing on their shoulders.  They structure, provision and protect the family unit.  I continue to marvel at my father, at men in general.  Fathers manage the weight of their world, along with the desire to have meaningful relationships with their children, in the same way that a woman juggles the  management of a home, family, and  career.  Much has been said about woman, womankind over the years, and her ability to have “it all”.  But what about men, fathers, their importance, and the role they play?

In a recent sermon from my pastor on Mother’s Day, he noted differences between man and woman.  Each individual person, unique unto themselves  was created.  In the Lord, woman is not independent of man or man independent of woman. Just as woman came from man, so man comes through woman; but all things come from God.

It is all about relationship.  And each relationship cannot be defined by stereotypical roles.

According to CS Lewis, turning from role-sameness (egalitarianism) to role-distinction (complementarity) is like turning from a march to a dance.

I like that analogy.  Helping, or complementing one another can take many forms.

The dance of my mother and father, was a symphony unto themselves, affecting our family unit.  It brought completion, or perfection, to our family.  As in life, things change, so do roles in a relationship.

Through the dance of my parents, I  learned important steps needed to complement my husband, complete my family.  My dance is unique, and will continue to develop and change with life.

I marvel to this day, when others mention strengths that I possess.  Not only the strengths of my mother, but also, of my father.

I can attest to a strong connection with my father.

I am my father’s daughter.